I recently came across an article about the popularity of drinking among stay at home moms. It didn't spark much interest at the time but this morning it came to mind as I was contemplating life in the shower... you know, those 10 minutes of quiet solitude where the hot steam magically drifts you to a place of freedom to sing, dance, or ponder how to solve the world's problems... I began thinking about the times I have thought about pouring a little rum in my afternoon coffee just to "take the edge off" because: parenting is down right grueling at times.
Living where you work is difficult too, always feeling on the clock, unnecessarily taking on everyone else's issues, and not setting boundaries for yourself. All of these things we SAHMs do. It weighs on us, the screaming, the fighting, the messes. The unmet expectations and the guilt that piles up higher than the unfolded laundry. I can very easily see how it is increasingly popular among stay at home moms to grab a glass of wine like it's 5 o'clock somewhere. But I am here to offer a better alternative and the best part about it is, it's 100% free.
“Cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you, and to give thanks continuously. And because all things have contributed to your advancement, you should include all things in your gratitude.”
― Ralph Waldo Emerson
Yup, that's it: be thankful.
I have been learning this year how to practice gratitude. Not just bear a thankful mindset, but to actually make it intentional, practical, and continual. To wake up every day and have my first though be "Thank you Jesus."
A few years ago I read Ann Voskcamps One Thousand Gifts. Within the life changing pages of this book she states "Thanksgiving proceeds the miracle." Those words have stuck with me but the daily practice of gratitude fell to the way side as the struggles of daily life bubbled to the surface. Until this year when my local Mom's Group decided to do a book study on The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown. As this book navigated our group through the necessary steps for Wholehearted living I began to see how, once again, it starts with Thanksgiving.
There is something that happens within us as we speak out loud our words of thanks. A UC Berkley study concluded that the practice of gratitude literally changes the neural pathways in our brain. Hearing our on voice say: "I am grateful for these wood floors" instead of, "ugh, look how scratched these floors are, and this dirt is never ending!" Or worse, "Ugh, I can't believe you let the floors get this bad. You should have done better!"
The negativity we are bombarded with on a daily basis is enough to drive a person to drink. But vocalization of thanks actually changes something within us that can do everything from help us sleep better to keep us from overeating. According to a Time magazine article there are 7 Surprising Health Benefits of Gratitude. I would like to testify that it can do more than affect our health. Thanksgiving can bring forth miracles in our lives.
Those little miracles we secretly pray for when our toddler refuses to nap despite being up 15 times the night before. If we begin to #speaklife into our day through the practice of thanksgiving we can find the strength we need to make it to bed time. Without the need to "take the edge off."
I notice an immediate difference in my temperament when I begin to speak out words of thanks. It doesn't even have to be related to the issue staring me in the face, I just start with the easy stuff. I am grateful that I don't live in a War Zone. I am thankful for a house full of food. I am thankful for a working heater, etc. The atmosphere in my home starts to change as I take authority over my own joy. The Bible teaches a lot about thanksgiving and the power of our words. However, it doesn't have to be about religion, although numerous religions throughout the world embrace the power of gratitude.
I can tell you from personal experience it is a lot easier to have a reason, a relationship, behind my random life. To have the peace and joy that comes from knowing the Creator of the universe designed me exactly the way I am and that I have a purpose on this earth (other than pulling socks out from underneath the couch) and with His help, I will follow my dreams and fulfill my destiny.
So wherever you are in life, whether you are up to your elbows in diapers or trudging through a stressful work day, if you are worrying over a sick grandchild, or wading through the turbulent waters of a difficult relationship. Don't numb yourself, free yourself through the power of thanksgiving.
I don't know about you but I want to live a life I don't need to escape from. I want to look at my children and feel blessed, not annoyed. I want to walk into my home and be at peace, not filled with anxiety. And the first step on that journey is a simple Thank You.
I am thankful for you taking the time to share my thoughts.
Until next time,
Sonja